Addicted to Grief

Life After Alexus Died

by Amelia Ochoa



In writing about grief, I hope my story can help parents and loved ones who are struggling with the death of a child. No matter the age, the death of a child seems unnatural. Untimely. It hurts, but you are not alone; the world is full of us. I am here to share my story with you and explain why I had to break my addiction to grief for my child, Alexus.

After going through the whole ordeal, I told myself that I needed to finalize this process we all call grief. I had to be the mother that my kids needed. I needed to be the strong and courageous woman that God put me on this earth to be--the woman I was before Alexus died.

I wrote this book with the hopes of helping others understand their own grief and, hopefully, find their way through the concepts that grief has imposed upon us all. In doing so, it helped me with my own process in more ways than I could have imagined.


For almost 10 years now, I have avoided my grief journey from the passing of my big cousin. I've spent many nights gasping for air because the thought of never seeing her again was enough to keep me staring at the ceiling for hours into the night. When the sun did come, I told myself she was away at school to help me through the day. Thanks to this book, I can take the journey to begin to grieve and hope for the possibility of healing. While I may have many more nights of staring at the ceiling, this book has shown me through faith in God, myself, and my cousin; I too can fight the addiction to my grief and heal.
--Ms. Dane' Norwood

When I first learned about the death of Amy Ochoa-Dockins daughter, Alexus, I saw her mother as one of the bravest women on earth. Mrs. Ochoa-Dockins still had four young children to raise after experiencing the sudden loss of her oldest child. Her strength reminds us all that there are no limits to a mother's love. After reading the words Amy has written, about her experience her disbelief and then grief, has taught me to look at death and especially the loss of a child in an entirely new way. This book takes the reader on a journey--into pain, loss, and despair and brings you out of the darkness and into the light. It is a must read for anyone experiencing a heartbreaking loss in their life.
--Niran Al-Agba, M.D

About the Author

Amelia Ochoa-Dockins was born in west Texas but raised in the greater Oklahoma City area. She is a mother of five and is married to a United States Army veteran. Throughout Amelia’s life, she has been faced with many obstacles and has hurdled them all with and by the grace of God. Her primary interest is motivating others. She firmly believes in self-motivation and sharing inspiration to maintain a realness and assure others that they are not alone in their dealings. "Life stories and lessons make us relatable, a unity for strangers within a community," says Amelia.